best times to high five

right after we discover that someone's hopes and dreams were smashed when they got a girlfriend, during a game of two truths and a lie as an ice breaker in the first english class of the semester in which said individual did wrong by having two lies and a truth, and me and kirk were only one to guess right and high hive insued

bad news yall

i've got visual aids

best class of my life

so i totally didn't really watch FACE/OFF the other day sorry everybody. Did have goddamn grilled cheese sammiches. I've been actually been watching FACE/OFF for the last two days and just finished it tonight with my boyfriend Kirk (see below). I feel like a jerk because my girlfriend is typing for me right now. But it's ok because tim doesn't know how to type fast enough and makes a million spelling mistakes and slowly kills jenni while she's waiting for him. And tim says hey I didn't say that. Fine. Jerk. Meow. mow mow mow mo mo mo mo mo mo. mo. mup. mup? mouwww. MOUW MOUWWW!@!! muop. So anywho got back, had a class from 9am to 9pm and both was good. I think my research class is going to be the best class of my life. (jenni just broke tim's canvas by mistake) The best canvas ever made by human hands. So anyway, it's gonna be a good class. One of the assignments is to create dueling lemonade stands against the same class being taught by another teacher. Mhm. Mmm. And my mom sent cookies and it was really good. White chocolate chip macadamia nut and I was, I ate half of what she sent. It was mad good. I say that her cookies taste good because they're filled with love but she says they're filled with guilt. And I say that the guilt taste good too. I also tell her that she does not need to sign text messages because they are from her and she says shut up tim. Then I don't reply. I need a haircut real bad, maybe i'll do that tomorrow. Anything else? I don't think so. Jenni's sleeping her tonight. Let's get busy. END. stop typing jenni. no stop it! STOP ITT NOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOO. NUHHHHH STOP ITTTTTTT NOOO THEY'RE GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME. NOOOOOO I'M GONNA LOOK SILLY. EVERYONE'S GONNA KNOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TYPE. meep.

cumbrella

so i remember this one time over a couple of days last summer i had a great time in my own head. it all started with somebody at school one of the last days asking me about or just talking about what you were hoping your life would be like in the future and what you were thinking about it. i didn't really have an answer at the time, perhaps a quasi recognized artist but nothing else. that turned into some dreams in the begging of the summer i had of art openings of mine in the future at galleries and people were standing around talking and eating cheese on bread and drinking out of plastic cups while holding napkins in the same hand, you know whatever people do at art openings. i don't know what any of the art was at all, when ever i dream of art it's never really art, its just people standing in front of where the art should be or it is shrouded in ambiguity, so any whosezzls i was thinking the day after that dream that that art opening was way too bland, that i wanted more than just people standing around with the clear plastic cup and napkin in the same hand, i wanted something more interesting. so the next night i had a dream of another art opening and i really cant remember at all what was going on at all, i don't think i ever, the whole thing was covered in a thick layer of ambiguity, but i remember people outside the doors talking about it amongst themselves in disbelief of what was going on inside there and then returning for a second go. and there some great amazing and gross stuff going on there but my brain refused to let me in on the joke. so the day after that i was contemplating that dream and thinking of this amazing art opening that i had no idea what was going on and i was trying to imagine what it possibly could be but nothing fit, every thing i thought of just didn't make the cut. so it ended up with me siting in my room at my desk staring out the window having a conversation in my head between two imaginary people talking about the openings and the one was asking the other about them, saying: oh i have heard that those things get pretty wild. and the other replys with

"i'm really not at liberty to say just how wild they get, but i can say this... bring a cumbrella"

i couldn't believe that this line just happened in my head, it was so unexpected even though i was making it all up at the time i just could not stop laughing, i actually fell out of my chair with laughter, nobody was in my house and i was on the floor with tears in my eyes from this fictitious character's description of my own fictions future art opening/party. that line is now written on my wall at home and just that line, one time my dad saw it and was like what the fuck that's rude and not even funny.
parents just don't understand

GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES

AND FACE/OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

day after first day of class

woke up to a 10 am fire alarm and had to hustle down fourteen flights of stairs and stand out amongst 400 hundred other unhappy campers in seven degree weather. luckily i decided to take my time putting on long underwear and hefty ass jacket but was still very cold. decided to go get coffee with some buds and saw the gf freezing her ass of in just a hoodie and pajamas she refused my coat, i was a gentleman about it yo. then some expensive ass grocery shopping, and decided to get every buy one get one free deal thing and had to deal with explaining 16 doughnuts to myself. then discovered the online halo one demo and killed way too much time playing boris and kirk. then went to go find the jenni, and she has run off to go get gay with her roommate and ignore me after being so chivalrous, but no, i'm going to go get gay with my friend go to stitch and bitch and rub cunts. and after returning to find her i come home to this:

no dennis

you suck my dick

great day in core

so this happened a week before thanks giving at saic but its noteworthy so shut the fuck up. We had and assignment in core studio to do an abstract painting based on another piece we did the week before. the assignment was to bring in a prepared surface and use the first piece as a compositional jumping off point to do an acrylic painting and use the canvas as the palette too no mixing not on the surface. so i brought in these two canvases so that i could do a dipdic. after setting them up on the easel and started squeeze out some paint in initial positions and moving it around, it wasn't more than four minutes after i started that my teacher pete came over and just immediately said ok good stop, good start don't look at the original piece any more, stop, im taking it away, you just resolve what you have there and make that painting its self now. its something totally else now and you aren't aloud to look at the other thing any more. i just kind of laughed to my self some but understood and said fine. i put more paint on and am really getting into moving and scraping it around the surface, squeezing out more paint if the colors get too muddy and pulling it all around having a great time. pete comes over a few other times and just gives me the some old art teacher deal of not saying anything so that i can just figure it out for my self and i mostly get nods as he walks by same deal with the t.a. the mostly just stays away. then at some point pete come over and looks at it really hard and puts his hand up on his face all contemplative like and says "ok, the first thing that i get is trickster, ok...here....um...let me ask you something: do you mean it?...do you mean it?...all of this here?" and i look at the painting and there are heavy globs dripping down it and big juicy lumps all over and i kind of get what he is talking about but he is sounding a little crazy. "yeah i mean it, i don't think i have the capacity to do an insincere painting, i mean it, im not trying to play a joke on you." he says ok and goes into this who explanation on how there was some movement in the nineties of people who were just playing around with paint, seeing what the y could do with it and why it was bad, that it is not really good art and how this started to resemble that when he first saw it. then he says ok... its like there are maybe twenty good paintings here but you cant do that, its like i just want to see one or two great moment that you feel you must show me and concentrate on those. so i think you should destroy this painting and recreate something more focused, just keep going though and you don't really have to destroy all of it, just do what ever.. i mean... just keep painting.. don't let me discourage you. so i start to pull the paint down and cover things up and reveal things underneath and start to get into that again, im right back in the painting and i fell the same way i did before but am keeping in mind what pete said. then some time goes by and pete is back. "stop.. ok.. wow, this is a kick ass painting but im starting to read the line in the middle as something else, oh wait, here let me see. pete takes down one of the canvases and hangs it on a blank wall. and we look at it with space around it. "ok you need to keep these two paintings in separate countries if you were ever to show them, i mean different sides of the planet, they are so strong but no one can ever see them at the same time, its not a bad thing, they just need space". so he take one away and says that i should stop working on it and i go to work on the other one so that they don't look quite alike. i put it horizontally and start to change the color, giving this one more real color and work with that and some splatter and covering that. then im pretty satisfied and im putting two final light green splatters on it as pete is walking over and he kind of gives me this look that he explained later as thinking like what the hell does he think he is doing putting splatter on that painting. then he comes to my side of the easel and is like oh, nice i did not think you could pull that off. in the crit a week later he said that he was just baffled at how i was able to get away with a splatter in his class and two none the less that he had no faith in me as i was flicking the brush but then saw ans kind of had to eat his own words. great day, thanks pete

thoughts on colours

im funny il prove it!

http://vimeo.com/2559670

idea for new movie:

daniel radcliffe gobbles my clit of fire.

to angela:

your boyfriend is stupid

DUDE

let's go to fuckin shamPOOOOOOOOOOO! and bring elie berman-brodsky. this shit will be so sick.

and i'll drag sailor luna on your ferret leash. fuck y'all.

subject

so i'm still at angela's and we're waiting for dennis to stop getting some gay massage/buttfucked.
i'm petting angela's luna doll from the hit japanese anime series SAILOR MOON! i want to delete this but angela won't let me, my LIFE IS SO HARD.

today i flooded kathy cho's facebook with videos. she's so mad. let's watch fear and loathing in las vegas but never read the book. it'll be fuckin' sick! no. let's never do that. never fucking ever. fuck you. i want to give angela's stuffed cat a jetpack. i'm so annoying i swear!

wish i was in chicago with my gf jenni tails. i'm gonna do her real hard when i see her again.
<3333333

i rule

i just high fived angela so hard that her hand's bleeding.

i don't want to add anything else, i'm a big fucking asshole.

poop on my knockers.

hi

i'm tim schade and angela made me do this